Oh my goodness! You guys are going to think I'm such a head case, but you'll never guess (with the exception of Clare, who already knows) who called me tonight. Cody. We haven't had a conversation since our rather not-so-good breakup in grade 10 (which was all my fault. I don't think I was a very nice person) I just about fainted dead away. But he doesn't seem to hate me, which I figured he would but am extrememly glad he doesn't. All he wanted was a phone number (Lara's, to be exact), but we also chatted a little bit before I said I had to go study (which I do, I just needed to de-stress here a little first). It didn't go as terribly as I thought it would. I honestly thought he hated me. I would hate me, were I in his place. Why doesn't he hate me? I've expostulated at length in my diary (yes, I keep a diary.) about how much he should hate me and how much I would hate me if I were him. I suppose I was the only one he knew who had access to Lara's number though. Maybe he just swallowed his hatred for a little while in order to get her number. Maybe he was just being polite, since society dictates that it's not nice to hate poeple (ok, my dad says it's not nice to hate poeple, so I attribute this to society at large also). And why am I freaking out over this? It was a phone conversation. A five minute phone conversation which I'm going to have to relay to my mother tonight because she loves Cody. I mean like she was planning our wedding practically. Well, when she wasn't telling me what a shame it was that we would break up. AHHHHHHH!!!!! I'm such a head case! Somebody analyze me, quick!
2 comments:
Do guys honestly not analyze things that girls say?
Mare, you're being WAY too hard on yourself. He'd have to be pretty petty to hate you after all this time. I don't know exactly what was said during the break-up, but I remember when it happened, and you had good reason. Also, you probably have equal grounds to hate Cody. Not to be horribly mean to him or anything but, all things considered, he really wasn't that good of a boyfriend. He was a little pushy, and we all remember why you broke up the first time...I actually am kind of surprised that you don't hate him (I guess this is just a little indication of what a good person you are. Personally, I think that I would have had a lot of trouble forgiving him). Anyways, don't worry about the the freaking-out-ishness. In fact, I freaked out a bit when you told me that he called (I don't know if you remember all the..."Cody?...CODY TARRANT????!"-ness that went on). The cercumstances are mighty strange! Plus, it was probably quite awkward talking with him after such a long time...and of course there's the mother issue...seeing as she still loves Cody...I imagine that your conversation with her about him would be quite unpleasant. Ergo, I think that it's totally normal for you to freak out. No worries. A strange occurrence, such as this, compiled with all the homework stresses would make anyone lose it. Alas...the life of an IB student...always on edge! Well, I hope that's a decent analysis...I'm sorry, I kind of suck at these things. At any rate, don't worry about Cody...if he dislikes you...he's a bum...Clare doesn't like bums...ergo, Clare will dislike Cody if he is, indeed, being a bum...a bum and a half perhaps? Okay, I'll shut up now because I'm rambling. See ya later Mare...if things get to tough...you can live with...CLARE! (then Cody won't be able to contact you...he doesn't have my number...BOOYAH!)
-Clare
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