I work seven days a week. In fact, I'll probably be averaging about 60 hours a week. Crazy. But today was special as it was my first day back at sobeys. But there really isn't much to say about that. I had to stay an hour extra to help close because Tara was ill (has an ulcer or summat), but I didn't really mind. Some guy kept telling me to smile and look how pretty I was when I smiled and Spencer should be around the front of a la carte more because why would he not be when there's a girl as pretty as me there. It was slightly creepy and also very embarrassing as tonight was the first night I've talked to Spencer in my entire life. Some people have too much time on their hands.
You're going to have to forgive me while I get this next bit off my chest. In fact, completely ignore it if you want.
I saw Cody tonight as he was going through the store. Not that he saw me. I, of course, kepts my head down so he wouldn't recognize me. Why do I do that? It's ... vexing because it seems so irrational after the fact. But when I see him I feel like I've been punched in the stomache and it just seems natural to duck. And he looked good. Sometimes, there is the smallest part of me that misses him. Does that make me a terrible girlfriend? I love Mark so much and I wouldn't change a thing for the world, but I can't help how I feel. And God knows I've tried. I just don't know anymore. I don't know myself. I wish it didn't hurt anymore. I wish I wouldn't torture myself with every wrong thing I've ever done. But it does, and I do.
And so it goes.
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2 comments:
Holy man 60 hours a week? You are crazy fool. Missing Cody like that doesn't make you a terrible girlfriend in any way at all; he was an important part of your life (or so I assume) and it's natural that you would have some emotions towards seeing him again. It doesn't make you a bad girlfriend.
{NB: Hope is majoring in psychology- ignore babble and take in the praise and good humour}I'm with "teen wordpoweer". I think that the first person that you really like is always hard to get over, and I don't think that you ever do. It also hurts because I'm guessing the break wasn't a mutual thing- he left you hanging- so you feel like there's something wrong with you because he stopped liking you. But there's nothing wrong with you, and you know yourself well; you know exactly how you feel about the situation, and that's closer than most ppl ever get. You're definitely not a bad gf- for one thing, you feel bad about how you feel about Cody and shows that you really care about Marcus Antonius [sorry, I can't help calling him that]
-Hope
PS 60hrs??!??!!!....!!!??
PPS You need richer Parents [jk]
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