G'ahead, put your back into it

So life is going...as life goes, I guess. Which means it's sucky, but what else is new? I'm definitely going crazy after two weeks of being here. I'm pretty sure it's only my trips into the city to see myles that are keeping me on this side of insanity. I'm picking up old habits again, which suggests that a lot of it is environmental. Although, to be perfectly honest, I don't see what could be that different between here and edmonton, except maybe I have more time by myself here. Whatever. My dad bought me a pass to the fitness centre, so I've started going there a bit. Probably go more regularly as an after work thing now though. I can't really eat anymore. I think I have an ulcer or summat, because everytime I eat, it makes me feel sick and hurts my stomach. Plus I just feel guilty. We went out for brunch with grandpa yesterday, and I stood up and twirled to show him new outfit, and he's all "wow, you're really slim". Sadly (pathetically?) that just made my whole day. With apparently nothing better to do, I live to be thin. Plus I have to wear a bathingsuit maybe next weekend, so I'm a little afraid about that. Whatever. I'll just go to the gym a whole bunch this week. Except for tomorrow because I'm staying at Myles'.

You know, my parents have surprisingly little to say to my face about my sleepovers. They seem to just have accepted the fact that I'm a failure. FINALLY. But then again, I'm sure they have plenty to say behind closed doors. When do they not?

My grandma phoned me yesterday to invite me back east for a week at the end of the summer. I'm kind of excited. I have to ask my boss today if it's alright though. Dad, of course, thinks they're not going to be too happy about it. But then again, he's never happy about anything that could potentially put me in a less than perfect light because "your behaviour is a reflection on me, therefore if you have a poor work ethic or do something wrong, it makes me look bad". Because it's all about YOU. So I have to tiptoe around with my boss on this. Basically, no mentioning that the reason I've been invited back east is because my grandpa is dieing and has asked to see me. But then again, my grandpa's been dieing for years, so nothing new. Whatever, I just want to get away.