New Look for a New Beginning?

It's pretty well spring. You wouldn't know it from looking out the window since it's all gross and snowing, but it's spring. Plus it's almost Easter, which is all about the rebirth and all that jazz. So I decided I needed a new look and, hey, I just might get refocused and start actively trying to do something with my life. I've started working out again. I'm terribly out of shape, but I'm trying because I'd really like to be a little less...curvy (read: have less thighs). And I'm trying to eat healthier. Janna showed me this really cool thing on www.dietitians.ca called eatracker. Basically, you tell it everything you had to eat and all the activity you did, and it tells you what you need to eat more of and less of and if you need more activity. It's pretty stellar, I have to say.

I've definitely been slacking off on school lately though. After all, I've had strep twice in less than two months, and four group projects (written and presentation) all due within a couple of weeks of each other on top of my regular assignments. So I've stopped making any effort whatsoever at spanish. I've even skipped over my allotted amount of classes. But I honestly don't care. I don't even want to take it anymore, but my parents have told me I have to, therefore I obey. But I'm doing okay at my other classes, and I'm fairly enjoying the ag stuff. Although I was ready to shoot half the kids in my an sc 200 class for not being able to get it through their heads how the quota system works. It's really not that hard of a concept. But whatever.

And I think things are going well with Myles. March has been the month of death with assignments, but we see each other a couple of times a week. I'm finding it really hard to open up though, which bothers him, I think. I want to, but I just can't seem to let myself get all that emotionally involved. Basically, I'm a terrible person. But I guess we'll see how it goes. I'll open up eventually, right? He invited me to go down to Red Deer/Calgary with him to hang out with his brother and his friends this weekend (which I said no to because I have a ton of homework and I was SUPPOSED to be going to a dairy farm today, which got cancelled). Is that a big deal? I never know with these things. Mainly because I never think most things are a big deal. But hey, I'm apparently cold and can turn off my feelings, so maybe that's why. I just don't want to get super involved and start making plans and have it all come crashing down again. Because that hurt. A lot. And it still hurts. There are still nights I cry myself to sleep.

But it will get better. It has to, right? Or else what would be the point in living?