Ready or Not

Definitely not. Ready for school, I mean. I don't even know what textbooks I need. Mainly because I'm too lazy to look, but also because I'm still working and therefore should not have to think about school yet. So there.

Work has been alright. Got rained out today, so I'm just sort of ...sitting around, I guess. Very unproductive, but I don't really care. Got a new phrase for y'all though. Our crew got shuffled a bit this morning, so we were down to one water truck (instead of two), to which our remaining water guy responded "I'm going to be busier than a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest!". Hehe. Okay, I thought it was funny. Seriously, I don't know where this guy comes up with these phrases. Weird newfies...

I'm tired and lonely and very much looking forward to moving into the apartment tomorrow night. And looking forward to seeing Siobhan on Sunday. And sleeping in my georgous double bed.

Days Until Moved Out: 4

And I can't wait. Honestly, I'm going crazy here. Added to her other stunning opinions of me, my mother apparently thinks I'm a heartless bitch. Not that she said the words, but she might as well have. It would have saved a lot of lecturing.

"Not everyone can turn their feelings off like you can."

Ya well, just because you don't see them, doesn't mean they aren't there. But really, thanks for coming out. Glad your opinion of me just keeps sinking. Let's see...what does that bring me up to? Oh right, I am a bitter, cynical, alcoholic bitch. Great. Does wonderful things for the old ego, doesn't it?

We buried my grandma's ashes yesturday. And I'm sure my "turning off of my feelings" was duly noted. There was only about a dozen of us, so it was nice. We had a luncheon afterward which mum and I mostly got together. And then cleaned up. And then the hour and a half car ride back. Ugh. I think the high point was, while I was trying to sleep, mum shouting "look! A train!". Wowee, a train. Be still my beating heart.

So ya, great times. I'm going to work. Woot.

A Night Out

So last night was Rabe's birthday outing, which was fun to the max. Stolle's was a pretty good bar, if a little loud. I think I've decided that my new favorite drink is vodka slime. Mmmm...vodka. I definitely had more than I should have though. Especially since I started grinding with some random guy of questionable attractiveness on the dance floor, who then proceeded to grope me. lol. Fabulous. Okay, I'm not going to lie, I've missed being manhandled :P , but that was just not cool.

Walking - stumbling - down Whyte was interesting. We stopped for pizza, and ohmygod it was the best pizza I've ever tasted. Possible because I was drunk. I'm not sure. But I enjoyed it at the time, so I think that's all that counts. I definitely slept in my clothes. It was pretty hot. I also woke up with a killer headache, but that I deserved lol.

Anyway, must pack.

La La LA

This week has been pretty darn boring. I watched oil dry today and Monday, and I'm going to have to watch it dry some more tomorrow. I object.

New Girl #3 is scary. Like, rave-going, occult, vampiric, streetwalker scary. Which brings me to the vulgar phrase of the week (compliments of #3): "it sucked more than an Asian whore in a porno film". Now really, was that phrase really necessary? Could we have done without the graphic description? I think so. I was disturbed and really didn't know what to say to that. So I used my imaginative "oh" I like to bring out when I have nothing better to say.

But anywho, I have some phone calls to make. Thusly, I'm off.

As stolen from Willis (becaue I'm lame and bored)

A is for Age: 19. Thaaaaaaaat's right. I'm getting over the hill!

B is for beer of choice: ew. I don't drink beer.

C is for career: I don't have a carreer yet. I'm still trying to make it through the summer without killing myself.

D is for your dog's name: Heidi. My mom's choice, don't blame me.

E is for essential item you use everyday: umm...toothpaste?

F is for favorite song at the moment: I have no favorite song...I'm songless...*tear*

G is for favorite game: well, you see, me and meagan like to play this game at work... lol. I don't play games very often.

H is for home town: Da Fort, yo

I is for instruments you play: Piano.

J is for favorite juice: ew. I hate juice. Unless it contains vodka. Then it is permissable to drink juice.

K is for whose ass you'd like to kick: several peoples' asses need kicking. SEVERAL

L is for last hug?: umm..probably my daddy lol

M is for marriage: Daddy's arranging one for me, I'm sure.

N is for name of your last ex: Mark

O is for overnight hospital stays: none? I think?

P is for phobias: Creepy old men who hit on me. Ew. Gross.

Q is for quotation: "Forgive many things in others; nothing in yourself." - Ausonius

S is for status: status of what? I don't know what you're talking about. Go away.

T is for time you wake up: 5 am weekdays, 6 or 7 am weekends

U is for underwear: well now, that depends on who's asking *wink*. What do you want me to wear?

V is for vegetables you love: ummm peas? Yellow beans? I dunno, veggies = delicious

W is for worst habit: procrastination definitely.

X is for x-rays you've had: Teeth, finger, toe

Y is for yummy food you make: cookies, sweet and sour chicken

Z is for zodiac: Leo RAWR!

Get'er Done

Thursday was "hot as a two dollar hooker" according to one of the water guys. I admit, it was rather warm, but what made it truly terrible was that we were supposed to train a new girl, but she had to sit on her own anyway, so no training got done. I even had to go reprimand her because she was sitting in her car with her coveralls undone and no hardhat on. NOT acceptable.

We should have been rained out right away yesturday, but no, our temporary leadhand for the week decided to wait for two bloody hours to see if it would let up, and then when it was sprinkling, decided to try and slam in two loads. Well, half-way into the first load (whilst I was in the middle of packing with the padfoot) it started chucking it down. Good job leadhand. So we had to leave the road a bloody mudhole because it is impossible to work with cement in the pouring rain. In consolation, meagan and I went out for lunch at BP, which was delicious.

Then I came home, did the shopping with daddy, went to see grandpa, and then went out for dinner. Then we came home, I put everything away and then promptly fell asleep on the couch while we were watching amovie. What a grand life I lead.

I feel like I haven't had a summer at all, and I really don't want to work or go to school or anything. I hate life. It should just go and piss off. So there.

Life...Or Something Unlike It

So I think I have succeeded in making quite the mess of my life, don't you? I'm working two jobs (which I hate), I have absolutely no social life, I come home from a nine-hour shift to have supper (sometimes) and then go outside and help with yardwork or help daddy make preserves, then possible read before I go to bed and end up not sleeping for most of the night. And then I get to get up and do it all over again. The kicker is, I'm trying to make enough money to go back to a university I couldn't care less about to take a bunch of courses I hate taught by profs who don't give a damn whether I pass or not while I bust my ass somemore at a job I don't have yet to try and make enough money to continue going to aforementioned uni. Plus I don't get on with my mum at all, my grandpa is moving at the end of the month and trying to get rid of everything that we want and are trying to snatch before he chucks it, I feel horrible because I cry myself to sleep every other night because I miss talking to Mark but I know I did the right thing for me, and I just want to slap a fair number of people around at both my jobs because they're idiots.

And the real annoyance of the matter is, no matter what the hell I do to try and fix things, I manage to screw up even more. So I'm thinking maybe I should just stop. Stop trying to fix things, stop caring, stop...trying to live. Just...stop.

Pieces of my Life

The pieces of my life are currently lying around me, waiting to be boxed and labled, organized into their proper places. Wouldn't it be wonderful if it were really that easy? As it is, three quarters of my books are waiting to be boxed up, along with various notes, movies, school supplies and the rest of the junk that comprises my life. So far, seven boxes await the 25th, when they will begin their trip to their new home. You may think I'm starting a little early, but really I have only today and the 20th to pack my things. I'm a very busy girl, after all.

I promised Louis I'd party it up Fort Style with him come September. Don't let me forget! I also have to remember to pick up Carole's keys on the 1st, change one of my accounts to a chequeing account before I move, pay my confirmation deposit, write out a rent cheque, and several other things which I've forgotten for the moment but am confident that I will remember eventually. Perhaps I should make a list.

My room needs to be emptied of my things and cleaned before my grandpa moves in at the beginning of September. I think I'm going to need a miracle. Or just some motivation. Either way, things need to be done.

Off to organize my life into boxes. It's just that easy.

Floating on the Edge of the World

I just finished an 11 hour shift and I am exhausted. I don't know why I bother to volunteer to cover shifts when people don't show up. It's not like anyone really cares all that much. But I am getting 2 hours overtime pay, so it's not like I was taking one for the team.

This week, I feel so...detached from reality. It's like, I'm there and I'm doing the work, but my mind is completely disengaged. I feel like I'm just floating around. Something like an out of body experience, I suppose, except I'm hovering just above where I should be. It sounds completely crazy and wierd, but that's how it's been. I just feel...not a part of anything. I rather like it, actually. It keeps me numb and secluded from any feelings. Which is nice, because I think I would go crazy otherwise.

But I don't make sense. I need sleep. And a vacation.

Randomness

I thought I'd share some of the random (and sometimes disturbing) things said by people on my crew:

"I'll tell you when you've had enough!"
"He's the kind of guy that would fuck you up the arse without giving you the courtesy of a reach-around."
"I need a beer."
"Look out, here comes Yappy McFuckStick."
"Walk it off!"
"Did that stupid fuck fuck up again?"
"Don't listen to him, he's an asshole with no neck."

Yes...we work...sometimes.