Ahhahahahahaha. Very few will understand, but those that do shall laugh in remembrance. Well, I will at any rate. Also, "you can't get internet content in the mail", "you can't get a modem through the mail either".
I'm pretty sure Mark is angry with me. I shan't explain nor give details, but I'm pretty sure he is. Which makes me rather sad and not good feeling, but I suppose I deserve it as it's really my fault. Again. Why must I always screw things up? Because I always do. *sigh* Good job, Mare, way to go. Give yourself a pat on the back. FUCK!
However, door/window analogy, I made it another step in letting go of my emotional baggage. Huzzah! That's right, I actually initiated a conversation on msn with Cody. It was really nerve-wracking at first, but it wasn't so bad after I made the leap. Which was...nice. I mean, I don't want to feel awkward forever, but I always seem to take baby-steps. But better baby-steps than no steps at all. I think I've actually come a long way this year. I mean, just look at a few of my long-ago posts (which I don't want to search for) and you'll see what I mean. And that is the only good thing that happened today. Great.
Sometimes, I really and truly hate myself.
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3 comments:
Roar. Listen here: it takes two to tango. That's not just me being "it's never a girl's fault!" (heh, my feminist side...). It's true. If you guys are having a tiff, and i know what over (at least i think i do), let me say that it can't ever be entirely your fault. I mean, you didn't ambush him with angry phrases or whisper sweet-nothings to his roommate. Come on, he's got to be a little giving. Lighten up a bit. He's laughed at you before and you've probably been a bit annoyed too. So whatever, it will blow over, and really, if he's being an ass i can tell him he has no more rights to 9H. That'll hit him where it hurts. lol.
We all make mistakes mare- what ever happened does not make you a terrible person, it just means- like other humans- your not perfect. Mark knows that, whether he's mad at you or not, and you should too. *big hug*
Good work with getting over the Cody issue. I don't want to pry, but I don't exactly know why you feel guilty whenever you see/speak to him- is he not the one who hurt you? or am I missing something?
-Hope
Yes, you're missing a lot. There's just a lot of history I don't feel like explaining. There are various posts throughout my blog about it, but who feels like going back to look? Certainly not me. Suffice to say I have a lot of emotional baggage and no one really knows the whole story.
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