Boring post

After being duly reprimanded by Willis, I am posting. But I really have nothing to say. I worked today (as per usual) and was sunburned, but as we got payed today, I'm not really complaining. And hey, I'm making good money. Plus what I'll be making working weekends at Sobeys. Yeah, I work seven days a week, but it's only for three more months, and I'm making money. To spend on tuition and rent. God that's depressing. However, seeing the paycheck that I'll be spening on tuition and rent makes me happy for now. After all, I could be in debt come september, but I won't be. Well, with any luck.

And, because it fits today quite nicely, I shall leave you with a quote:

"You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public" - Scott Adams

When I Get Where I'm Going

Fantastic song. Too bad I don't know where I'm going.

I don't know what it is about living here, but I can't handle it. I just get..so depressed. And I don't even know what about. And I'm trying so hard not to let it win. But I'm fighting a losing battle, and what's worse, I know it. All the old habits will win in the end. They always do.

So I throw myself into work and books, and wait for september. Will I always feel so broken? White Oleander put it very nicely: "Stay away from broken people". And so you should. No good ever comes from it. Only hurt.

And I would rather hurt alone.

A Dream Within A Dream

And so life seems lately; like a dream of a dream. I sit around all day until a car comes (perhaps around 20 a day, if I'm lucky) and I fill in the rest of the nine hours with daydreaming. And peeing in a bush, if there happens to be an obligingly secluded looking spot. In the evenings, I read or go wherever with my parents. Lately, mostly reading.

But I do enjoy the reading. The escape. That's all it is really. All it's ever been. But that satisfies me, so I read from after dinner until time for bed usually.

But today, I dared to be different. Well, for about an hour and a half, anyway. I went to town, marched up to Pam, and then told her if she could use some weekend help, I could use the money. And thus I now have a weekend job. It's...reassuring, in a way. Lately, I've felt so off course, like I'm drifting away from the few goals I actually possess. And I do so hate having time to think. Especially as I tend to overthink everything, if I have the time. Probably why I never sleep well anymore, all the thinking runs into my dreams.

Have you ever been afraid of the future? I am. I want so desperately to embrace it, but at the same time I'm terrified of it. Nothing ever goes to plan, and all I can do to prepare myself for it, is to tell myself the worst that could possibly happen and try to reconcile myself with it. Perhaps not the best way of dealing with life, but I'd rather never let myself hope for too much than to be dissapointed over and over. And then again, perhaps my mother was spot on when she said I was cynical.

I don't mind so much anymore, though. I'd rather be cynical than be constantly dissapointed.

Another Day Nearer the Battle, Is Another Day Nearer the Grave

So, what can I say? Really, I don't do all that much. Sunday, I went to confirmation and then to Mark's, and thence to see the Davinci Code. Not really all that bad of a movie, as movies go. I haven't read the book though, so I don't feel all that qualified to judge.

Today was work. I got absolutely drenched because I was standing in the rain for at least an hour and a half before they decided the road was too mucky and called a rain-out. Not that I really minded getting wet, but it would have been nice if they had thought to issue our rain gear today. But whatcha gonna do? I'm just glad I decided not to wear my white shirt today, because we don't get our jumpsuits until the end of the week, so I wasn't wearing anything except a safety vest over my clothes.

I'm currently playing around with the idea of getting a weekend job. I'm definitely not going to be able to pay for res stuff without getting a loan, and I'm trying to avoid borrowing as much as I can. But I need one that would let me have the Canada Day long weekend off, and what are the chances of that? I would say not bad, being as every place you look, they're desperate for workers. But I don't know. I'll think on it for this week and decide next. No point in being hasty. Feel free to give advice or thoughts though.

End of Week 1

It is officially the end of Week 1 at work, and I can honestly say I've done almost no work. Okay, Mon - Thurs were supposed training days, so we weren't supposed to be doing work, but yesturday was just a joke. For the morning, our supervisor (Wade) had one of the new part-time girls (Germaine) shuttle us back and forth for our hearing tests. I, by the way, have excellent bilateral hearing. Take that. lol. So we all sat around the shop ALL morning. At one point, Wade had three of us sweep and pressure wash and squeegee the shop floor in General Services. Which was promptly re-dirtied about five minutes later. And then we sat around until lunch. I'm not even joking, we all (like, 12 of us) sat on our asses on the benches and at the table in general services until like, 12 30. Then Wade came in and asked who wanted to go home, and we all put our hands up.

Me, being the keener that I am, was all "If you have work for us to do, I'd rather do that, but if it's between sitting here or going home, I'll go home". So four of us ended up staying to do crappy work no one else wanted to do and the rest went home. (oh, I forgot to mention they had us pick garbage around the yard for all of 45 minutes. Big work there) So Germaine, Kyle, and I swept out the storage bay and then helped Robin fix signs, and Justin went and did summat else in the yard. And then we sat around some more. I figure we did all of 2 hours of work in the 8 hours we were there, so we were basically paid to sit around all day.

But Tuesday will be actual work, I hope. At least they'll issue our jumpsuits to us. Neon slime green, they are. Quite attractive, let me tell you. And we have to wear bright orange hard hats because flaggers sometimes get beer bottles chucked at them.

Oh, and another foreman, Terry, came in in the morning and practically interrogated us to find out who had connections to the county. There are two neices of one the head foremans, one lady whose father-in-law used to work for the county, a guy whose mum worked in the office at one point, and me. Can we say nepotism? lol. But really, it's just because no one else applied and they really needed workers. Whatcha gonna do?

Anywho, today is a lot of sitting around. And not going to bed at frickin 9pm. Because I sleep 9-5. Most people work 9-5. I feel so very old.

The Day of Outsideness

So, I started out today by putting on copious amounts of sunscreen and then talking with Gareth whilest waiting for everyone to show up. Because we are apparently the keeners. And no, Beth, I can't put in a good word for you because he's already taken. By the sister of a guy my dad worked with last year actually, and he's living with them for the year until his work/vacation visa runs out. And he met his girlfriend in Australia while they were working there. Talk about your small world.

Anywho, we went over safety stuff this morning, got our crew assignments (I'm flagging with Meaghan for the Base Stabilization Crew), and took a tour of the yard. Unfortunately for Meaghan and I, Gareth is a "townie" (on a cement crew in the Park), however this provides us with loads of opportunities to tease him. And about his murse, of course. And then us rural kids went off to practise flagging, driving the packer, and driving the one-ton with trailer for the afternoon. And I am now slightly more sunburnt. Woot.

Tomorrow is work around the yard and a hearing test. And hopefully no more sunburnyness. Because I can only get so red.

I am a certified flagger!

That's right, I have a handy dandy little card to prove it. Although I just about died as Bill took ALL FRICKIN MORNING to go over flagging stuff and repeated everything at least 3 or 4 times. I'm not even exaggerating. Thankfully, I had Meaghan and Gareth at my table, and we kept ourselves amused. That's right, I made a new friend today! He's the British or Colonial thereof guy. Well, he's actually British. From the Isle of Wight, if I'm being specific. And of course, we went outside for lunch today and I managed to get sunburnt. GAH! Forty minutes outside and I'm as red as a lobster.

This afternoon was much shorter. Probably because we were being rowdy as there was a whole bunch more people come in for WHMIS training. And tomorrow I'm in the shop learning about machinery and whatnot. Huzzah! And Gareth and Meaghan are with me again, so I'll have friends to talk to.

I have to go moisturize now.

And Days Go By

So I've finished Day 2 of orientation. Yesturday was boring as hell because it was just general orientation. Loads of speeches and whatnot. However, I met a girl named Meaghan who is very nice and another girl named Jeannie (also nice), and Danae was in orientation yesturday as well. Plus there's this guy that looks like Jared Padaleki (or however you spell it) and another guy that is rather cute and has some sort of accent (British or colonial thereof, I can never tell), so the eyecandy is appreciated. What else am I going to be doing while I'm supposed to be listening to speeches?

Today was first aid, so it was fun. We got to do a lot of hands on stuff. I was paired up with a girl (whose name escapes me...Chantelle?...Crystal? ..) and she was pretty fun, so it all worked out. Tomorrow is flagging training and WHIMIS at the County Hall, which should be..informative. Most likely boring, but whatevs. I'm getting paid for it, so it's all good.

Oh, I was in Walmart last night with my parents, and I lost my daddy, so I was looking for him, but I found my mum instead. And then I saw him coming down the isle, so I ran over to him and was all "I LOST YOU AND I WAS SO SCARED AND THERE WAS NOBODY TO TELL ME WHAT TO DO!!!" You know, making an ass of myself. And then he gives me this look and tells me not to run. That's right, because nice girls don't run. Really! One day, I shall make a book of what nice girls don't do according to my daddy, and publish it and make a great deal of money. One day. Just wait and see.

Back and Still Alive

So I am now back from my weekend of babysitting and have successfully washed, shampooed, and moisturized the dog/dirty diaper smell from me. I babysat from 830am friday until 4pm tonight, and I am tired. Aside from CJ waking up every couple of hours through the night and either crying for a minute or calling for a bottle, and her ungodly awakening hours (read: 5 30am), the puppy sat beside my bead and whined ALL FRICKIN NIGHT! I don't think I've had more than a couple of hours sleep a night. However, I am now $150 ahead in life, which suits me just fine. But I declare here and now (and you'd better be reading this mark): There Will Be No Dogs Allowed In My House, Ever. Thus is the decree of Queen Mary. So let it be written, so let it be done.

And tomorrow is work, huzzah. Hopefully it should be at least an interesting day, what with this week being orientation and all.

That is all I have to say. You may leave now.

And it still drags on.

There really isn't all that much I can say about the past few days. I haven't done anything of note (go figure). And what can I say about home? I really don't want to be here. It's one redeeming virtue: it's not Lister. So for now, I tolerate it all. Badly, but whatever. At least I have the kitties to play with when they're not sleeping or eating (a whopping half an hour a day, wow).

If the rest of the summer goes by this slowly, I may be forced to throw myself into oncoming traffic. Because old habits die hard. Very hard indeed.

The Sticks, Alberta

So today, I was traipsing around Middle of Nowhere, The Sticks, Alberta. I'm pretty sure that was the address. You should send me a letter. My parents and I left the Fort at like 9am to go to some crappy auction sale on Green Grove Road, wherever the hell that is. Somewhere east of Camrose, anyway. And being as it was a waste of time, we continued on our merry way to Aunty Laurie and Uncle Roger's farm (just outside of Rosalind, if for some unknown and unexplainable reason you know where that is).

Aunty Laurie fed us a grand lunch and then we all five of us went to beautiful downtown Donelda (my god, do the hick towns never end?) to go to the antique stores. At one of which my daddy bought an old 78 record player. What a piece of junk. However, I got to see a player piano in action, which was in very good shape. And then back to the farm again (after touring the countryside, of course) to pick up a box and then on to some dairy farm a mile down the road.

I love the smell of the farm, odd as that may seem. We went into one of the milk barns and the guy gave us a family of cats; a momma and four kittens. Which we had a hell of a time stuffing into the box. Oh, the kittens went in no problem as they were too little to put up any protest, but that momma kitty did NOT want to be in the box. But we ductaped and baleing twined her in anyway. Farmer's best friend, those two articles lol.

And then back to the farm for drinks and then home. Where we set up the kitties in the dog crate with some hay and rags and milk. Quite comfortable, if I do say so myself.

And that was my day. FINALLY, I got out of my house.

So...who am I, again?

So, being as Mark was ill today, I was, once again, left by myself to do nothing all freaking day. Really, it was great. I got up at 7, drank tea for an hour while I read, then I made myself a smoothie and read for another hour, followed by washing some fabric and, gasp!, more reading! and that only brought me to like, 9 30 ish. But it goes up from there, really, just listen. Next, I straightened my hair, got dressed, threw my fabric in the dryer, and did my makeup, all by 10 30! Aren't you amazed at my day so far? I know I am. Then Mark called to tell me he was ill, so I got dressed back into house clothes, washed off my makeup, read for a while, and then scrubbed the porch steps. And from there on, my day was basically a lot of reading intersperesed with getting up to get a drink and make lunch. Really, it was grand.

And that is basically the routine I've had all week and will continue to be my routine until next friday. What a great life I lead. At least I get to break up the monotony by babysitting from 8 30 friday morning until Sunday afternoon. Then work on Monday!

Seriously, I'm about to chuck myself out the first available window.

Silence is Golden.

Now really, I've never been one to advocate silence. Hell, I'm the one that is forever singing (rather loudly, I might add) everywhere, or pounding on the piano, or playing music, or genereally just making noise.

But I was cooped up with my mother from 8 am until 5 10pm non-stop... ALONE. And my mother NEVER stops talking. Which, normally, would be fine. But my mother has this annoying habit of saying the same thing AT LEAST three times over during the course of a day (and I'm honestly not exaggerating), and even when I tell her that she's told me already, she still carries on with the entire story. And of course the telling me what to do which she terms "being a mother" or "trying to help" really burn me up. I mean, I realize she's not honestly trying to make me miserable, but sometimes it really seems like it. And today, I re-learned how much I enjoy silence. Especially in cars.

In other news, I am currently reading Lost Girls by Andrew Pyper under recommendations by Siobhan. Actually, so far it's quite good. Plot line is a bit slow, but I have time.

I'm also going to start trying to learn how to sew tomorrow. THAT should be quite an amusement in itself. I'll keep you updated.

Carry on.

The Production Possibilities Frontier

Also reffered to affectionately as the "PPF curve". For the past couple of days, I definitely have been working within my PPF curve. In fact, let me diagram:



Pretend there are axis involved because I forgot to draw them in (just your standard x and y please, no need to imagine anything else). The curve is my potential production when I operate at full capacity; that is, when I use all resources effectively. The dot is where I currently stand in production. Because it lies under the curve, and not on it, I am producing less than I could potentially be producing, and thus am inefficient. Thusly, I am procrastinating mightily and not doing anything. Take that econ!

However, i would like to point out that I did, in fact, read an entire book today. So it wasn't a complete waste of time. Sort of. *sigh* I need something to do...